There’s no amount of prayer, sage, meditative mantras, or spell candles that’ll keep most (like… 99.8%) people from slipping from their “be the bigger person” aspirations.
We’re human, sometimes we slip!
Just wish I could remember that.
A few years ago, I got certified as an NLP practitioner and life coach, which includes a technique called TIME techniques.
On one of the days during the certification, we were to facilitate TIME on a partner, and when my partner guided me to release anger, then sadness? WOW.
My whole body felt warm and like the emotion of sadness was genuinely melting off me like wax dripping down the side of a candle.
I FELT that sensation and it blew my mind!
I immediately thought back to a fellow coach friend who was certified a couple of years before me, and how she interviewed her mom in the car about what she’d used to do before having TIME techniques facilitated on her.
Her mom said simply, “road rage! I would’ve cursed at them and gotten angry.”
Then she followed up with: “but now when someone cuts me off, I immediately wonder what made them do that and just go on about my day.”
So when that same calm, questioning happened to me during a moment of judgment from some family members over me cutting all my hair off? It ASTOUNDED me.
And a similar calm came over me during a reoccurring argument with my mom.
I didn’t even have to TRY and shift my mindset. I just let her ramble about the same things and instead of me responding reactively like I’d always do… I legitimately wondered what made her think that way.
I just neutrally hummed “mmhmm…” as I worked on her hair. There was no hidden tone filled with dripping attitude. No replies with gritted teeth. No reflexive yanking or snatching as I let the anger channel to my arms tangled in her hair…
I truly felt calm and unbothered and it blew my MIND.
But my frustration and anger runs deep.
Even with the power of that technique, sometimes—depending on the person and the situation at hand especially—just once doesn’t cut it.
I had another coaching friend from the same industry tell me that she released emotions weekly on herself with TIME.
And I’ve even done TIME on myself successfully, but it never stuck forever and ever amen.
So even though we’re not some project that needs to constantly be fixed, toxic cycles that keep repeating can begin to fade if you’re willing to be the person that begins breaking that cycle.
Ask yourself, what can you do to create a difference in your life? How you show up? How you respond to others?
Then begin taking action to create change that can have SUCH an empowering, healing, and transformative outcome.
Believe me, just doing that on a conscious level in the moment is hard because it’s so inflamed and triggering. But the more we practice even being self-aware of where our head’s at during those moments is the start of amazing change.
And when you slip up along your journey, remember that we’re all human.
This wobbly experience on this floating rock cycling through space is always going to be about learning and adapting and shifting and changing.
And always remembering to try, try again.
Thanks for reading!
This week’s Friday Thread sparked a lot of engagement over on my Instagram so I’ll be excited to hear your thoughts.
Laura Belgray’s storytelling, launching, and email copywriting bundle I bought last year (this link’s not an affiliate and goes to the Inbox Hero waitlist) will help me revive my current mailing list for all things Human Design, and write better overall since I plan to make an income from my writing as well.
These TikTok cloud slides knockoffs (not an affiliate link) have been helping my aching feet tons lately!
Got on the Atomic Habits bandwagon and get the hype now! I’ll be buying a physical copy to take a ton of notes in as soon as I finish listening to my library’s audiobook version of it. (The above is an affiliate link to Bookshop, which gives money to support local bookstores. But Amazon has a huge markdown on this book at the time of writing this (not an affiliate link) and strongly feel everyone should read this so check it out where you can!).
Watching this video with a damn good-looking soup adorned with herbed feta croutons, only to make a Trader Joe’s knockoff that was pretty freakin’ good! Lemme know if you’d like my knockoff version.