Friday Reflection #17: A rocky spot we'll get through

Gettin' sad again, traumatic nostalgia, and an asexual romance book

Welcome to Friday Reflections! A weekly newsletter sharing 3 thoughts and/or things I loved and learned from the week as I navigate learning how to create a life I’m nourished by, and thriving in, without my mom (or caregiving for her).

Picking up sushi to eat at a friend’s place, right before I learn I can still watch the original Meerkat Manor.

I’ve been feeling a little despair-y lately, and I haven’t been the proudest of what I’ve been publishing lately either.

It’s become a rhythm each week to just get each piece out, but I want them to actually be worth reading.

I don’t wanna just have some “one-hit wonder”, or have my reputation crumble because what I post consistently lacks quality, so I’m gonna have to figure some things out I guess.

Life’s been feeling weird again and I don’t understand it. I’ve been exploring concepts with my therapist and everything feels so overwhelming and uninteresting and scary and impossible and… I don’t know what I want to come next in my life right now.

Before mom died, my life felt like it was set in stone and wasn’t going to amount to anything really. I was pretty certain about that, no matter how hard I tried to fight it.

Now anything is possible, including what feels impossible (financial security, falling in love with the perfect partner that loves me just as much, traveling the world, running errands I want to run) but I can’t fathom any of it, nor am I interested in anything right now?

I dunno. I’ll keep going; we’re gonna figure this out.

For now, I digress… Instead, head’s up! This Monday, July 3rd (cross your fingers!), I’ll be posting the first ever monthly Coffee Date Digest!

It’ll be a monthly summary of all the Friday Reflections of the month, and will include bonus honorable mentions that didn’t make it in the weekly reflections, some additional intimate reflections (if there are any), and more!

This first post of its series will either be a free sampling of what’s to come, or a pretty open sampling of it, with a paywall somewhere… But it will be for paid subscribers only!

I absolutely hate that free subscribers can’t comment on paid posts that have a preview, and I’m not sure if you can reply to emails with a preview as a free subscriber… Just hope they change that someday. I’ll always want to communicate with EVERYONE. Even if something is mostly behind a paywall.

It feels like a good compromise, yeah? There’ll be some exclusive mentions within it, yes, but it’ll also function as a convenient rundown of a month’s worth of Friday Reflections.

It may completely develop and morph over time, or I may scrap it–we’ll see!

But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Lemme know when it comes out!

Now, onto this week’s three.

Thing One: A satisfying romance read

FINALLY. I found a romance novel that scratched my itch: not closed door but just enough spice to make me go, “Ahhhh…”

And of course, it did! It was a romance novel about an asexual woman!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it lately in my newsletter, but I’m heteromantic asexual. Glad I was able to say so at the end of Pride Month! 

And personally? I can take a hard pass on any penetration and the like in books and in real life.

So I was super happy to have listened to the audiobook of The Romantic Agenda!

Even so, I still had a few gripes… Actually, I just completely updated my Goodreads account so you could find it here if you’d like, but I think I did have some spoilers in there!

Thing Two: THE OG MEERKAT MANOR OMG

Did you ever watch Meerkat Manor? Like, the 2005 one?!

Meerkat Manor was a drama docuseries on Animal Planet that followed the Whiskers, a meerkat family based in the Kalahari Desert, South Africa.

It. Sucked. My. Family. IN.

When things turned tragic on the show several seasons in, it hit several big media outlets like the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, TODAY, and more.

I didn’t link to any of them because it’s a huge spoiler. HUGE.

But I’ll tell you what… I remember exactly where I was when I watched it: in my grandma’s guest bedroom, in fetal position sobbing against the wall.

I felt a little less alone when the local news outlets asked fans where they were when the moment struck on the show. People who had merch and watch parties reported in.

It was BIG.

And it’s available on Amazon Prime to watch! My friend randomly mentioned watching the original episodes this past weekend and I was elated!

This is a different flavor of nostalgia I’ve never experienced before… It was traumatizing, yes, but the storytelling really pulled you in and kept you there.

And I think I’ve been ready for that again for years and years. Now I get to experience it with ease of access!

Thing Three: Plant growth secret ingredient!

Rainwater. That’s it. That’s the post. =p

There has to be something miraculous in the natural rainwater, because the few times my dad and I’ve been able to collect any and use it on all the plants we have in the house from the services, they’ve been rapidly growing new buds, flowers, and leaves!

And I know my dad’s been using fertilizer too… And I know it’s the season for fertilizer and growth… But I’m telling you… I’ve been using the same fertilizer every two weeks and even my plants have been popping up new growth!

It’s so cool. I’ve had older family members say all the time the benefits of rainwater, and I’m seeing why so many would rave about it now.

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