Friday Reflections #8: Completionist

Just some thoughts before I take a break... probably.

Welcome to Friday Reflections! A weekly newsletter sharing 3 thoughts and things I loved and learned from the week as I navigate learning how to create a life I’m nourished by, and thriving in, without my mom (or caregiving for her).

So I wrote an update and roundup of my favorite and most popular pieces this Tuesday, and the stars aligned right after because someone blessed me with my first email reply, a friend tipped me $30 for my newsletter, and I feel like I received more replies to other writings I commented on… And I got two or three more free subscribers! (And a few more by today, cause yesterday I spent a lot of time in Office Hours and Notes.)

Like, wow! Thank you all, SO much!

But alas, as my last post stated… I (think?) I’m gonna take a break from public writing. Maybe. We’ll see.

I just wanted to finish this series off (again: for now?) by completing a full 2 months of Friday Reflections! Whoooo!

And to thank everyone for their support of all kinds!

I don’t think I have 3 things this week; I’ve been floundering.

But I do have some thoughts…

Thought One: Drawing Tantrums

So I keep a notebook now of ideas I wanna draw, and I’m putting too much perfectionist-type expectation on the outcome.

And it’s pissing me off!

I’ve been searching for the perfect Skillshare class to help me loosen up, find prompts, and just draw, but haven’t found The One yet.

I know, I should just… draw. And I will.

I’m just seeing more and more illustrators that seem to have simplified or fun styles and I waaaant thaaaat!

Drawing more will definitely be something I do during my hiatus. Cause I have a vision.

It’ll come, I just need to “refill my cup”, ya know?

Thought Two: Jerked Smashed Potatoes

Okay, this one is still in progress. But my grandma was given a bag full of tiny red potatoes and she let me take as many as I wanted. I immediately knew what I’d do with them:

Make. Flavorful. Crispy. Pillowy. Jerk. Smashed. Potatoes!

Used to make them when I could; mom couldn’t stand the smell of too many seasonings…

I’ve made them twice this week as of writing this on Thursday (and hopefully at least two more times) but they haven’t been too crispy! Delicious, but not crispy.

I’m not doing something right, so I’m gonna tweak a few things for my next try (and I’ll fill you in on if it was successful when I get back if you’re interested).

Thought Three: Chronicling a Manifestation Journey

I tried to film a video podcast for YouTube earlier this week. Still need to edit it…

But I thought it would be really cool to document how my life changes from this lowly feeling of hopelessness (once again), sadness, and aimlessness… to one where I am thriving and loving life!

I just wanna document change. For the better.

It doesn’t have to be plastic surgery change, or moving into a mansion that echoes because I make over $10K months… I just wanna have an intentionally-documented thing that more viscerally shares a transformation journey. 

I absolutely LOVE watching YouTubers evolve over time. Seeing them start in a tiny bedroom with roommates and an okay setup, to their own place, finding their groove and just changing.

It’s so weird to expect creators to stay the same as they were years ago. I, wanna see them THRIVE!

And I wanna thrive too. I wanna live out epiphanies that include finding my groove and activities and projects that make me excited to get out of bed whether it’s a weekday or the weekend.

But is YouTube the best way? I love the community you can create and will respond to anyone, but I know writing is my love and strength.

Writing can be a long-winded process for me, too.

Which is why I thought I could document everything on video? Yeah?

The visuals?

I dunno. Again, why I need to step away from quite a bit and figure all this out.

But the manifestation bit. I don’t think I ever got into it, but the summer of 2016 was the first time I really stepped out and learned other personal modalities that weren’t just prayer and the Bible. Mainly it was subconscious mind work and manifestation (I work with sustainability; deeper work than a 555 Method on TikTok).

And it changed my life.

It’s been what? Almost seven years since I started that journey, and I let a lot of mindfulness practices go as caregiving made navigating my own life harder and harder.

But now, of course, I have all the time in the world to get back into it. And I’m finally feeling more ready and willing to actually take responsibility for creating change in my life.

And, again, I’d love to document it.

Where will I do it? I’m not 100% sure yet. But I feel a pull to document this new life journey somehow.

Welp that’s it for this week. I’m sure I’ll still be floating around, maybe on Notes and of course reading the work here on Substack, But I’ll be back to writing pieces in no time.