I’ve never lived alone before, can you tell me what it’s like?
There are a lot more vlogs now-a-days covering what it’s like to live alone.
And thing is, is that a good chunk of these people aren’t even romantically single.
They’re just living alone, and enjoying it.
And for someone like me — an introvert who’s never been on her own before and gets blissed out just being in a home full of unconscious people (who are asleep… asleep, y’all. I’m not that desperate for solitude) — I’ve gotta admit…
I’m a little bit jealous.
So I’m relying on you to fill me in on all the deets so I can vicariously live through you, okay?
A whole new world
So tell me… is living alone like a slice of life anime? Like NANA?
Or is it like a coming-of-age film?
… you know, if any were actually about young adults in their 20s.
(I haven’t seen a lot of movies, but a quick Google search showed me that most coming-of-age movies stop at the ripe old age of 18 or so.)
Anywho, I remember being sorely disappointed when I got to middle school just to realize it was a pretty drama-free, unwavering environment.
Not what I had witnessed for years on As Told by Ginger.
So why does the media act like our biggest moments of growth only happen during adolescence?
Cause from what I’ve seen and witnessed in my 20s? There is such a thing as “quarter-life crisis” and boy is it running rapid.
And especially with so many young adults moving back home for one reason or another.
So… when can you ever find time to figure out who you truly are, if you’re always surrounded by people?
Penciling-in self-discovery
A big portion of my 20s was spent being a victim of my own life.
I wanted to take a gap year before college, but wasn’t allowed to for fear that I’d never go back to school if I took a year off.
Couldn’t afford to, nor was allowed to live on campus or away from home (saved me tens of thousands of dollars that wasn’t piled on to my already looming debt so thank you, mom!).
I just spent college getting my credentials, hanging out with friends, and taking two trips to New Orleans with our Diversity Center.
I learned a lot, love the people I met… but the one thing I always felt I was lacking was a moment in time to truly figure out who it was I REALLY was.
There just wasn’t the time or space to not always be “on.”
Because I never was just left alone with me, myself, and I.
But can living alone really make or break showing up fully as the person you’re meant to be?
Peeling like an onion
I know living alone doesn’t automatically equate to an immediate breakthrough.
It can actually be pretty uncomfortable to sit with yourself in silence and eliminate distractions like your phone and Netflix altogether…
So has there ever been a difference for how you showed up in life when you eliminated constantly having people around you?
Did it make a difference for you? Or did you just fill the void with mindless distractions?
Cause I’ve gotta be honest… I dream of the day I get to cook things like roasted broccoli, brussel sprouts, and kimchi without a qualm about the smell from anyone around me.
… but I don’t think that’s necessarily part of a deep transformation into your truest self.
So let’s say eliminating the layers of distractions wasn’t the answer. How does one learn who they truly are? And is there a benefit in doing so?
I’ve never lived alone before, can you tell me what it’s like? was originally published in The Life and Times of Cierra Marie on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.