My last letter to mom.

It's now my life’s mission for you (+ me)

What a find.

It’s my first Mother’s Day without mom here, and I thought of something symbolic I’ve been wanting to share with you, but at the time didn’t fully believe in myself as fiercely as I did back then.

It was a letter I wrote to my mom, and I’m starting to regain the perspective I held in that letter after losing it during the time that led up to mom’s death, and after.

So what better day to share a message I gave my mom, that’s also a life mission I’m gradually re-committing to for myself, and my community?

I hope it opens up something within you that my mom never got to experience herself.

Mom,

Mommy, dearest  mom, my love…

It’s completely normal to have faith in God and still be curious and concerned about the future.

Before dad came in to talk about work, I was telling you that though it may be hurtful or sad not to be able to talk to [everyone], that it’s a blessing that [it’s] not our only choice. We have SO much power–that no one ever teaches us about–to protect ourselves and create safety and more of what we need.

If you want to search for the RIGHT therapist, then I think you should!

You’ll no longer give your power away, expecting [redacted] to show up for you in a way you’ve built up in your mind as a way you felt you need. You can instead–with God’s help of course–explore and find exactly what you need for certain aspects of your life elsewhere, outside of what you expect from [redacted] and [redacted].

Of course, God will stay at the center of it all, and I don’t see why you can’t have both a relationship you build with Jesus and God-led decisions to find what you need to nourish you, help you release and reflect and heal on earth too.

Just like you advocate for your physical health, I think you can do exactly the same for your mindset maintenance and well-being.

I love you so much and hope you’re open to more adventures in advocating for your needs!

Love,

Cierra, your favorite daughter ♥

---

I mentioned it briefly before that in 2016, I started stepping into my own journey of personal development work. And it felt like all the work I did led up to the moment of writing that letter to my mom.

Understand that you DO have so much more power over your life than we’re usually ever taught and that no, that doesn’t have to mean you think you’re bigger or more powerful than God (if you’re a Christian or somehow found offense to this).

I feel like that was the beginning of trying to grapple to save her. Before things got so, so bad.

I just wanted her to see that she can know herself so much better than she did. That controlling what went into her body was just a surface-level action.

That life can be so much more nuanced than mindless actions and co-dependency on prayers and scripture rather than getting to truly know ourselves and the intricate person God created.

I want you to remember that every day, we choose.

We choose our actions, our perspective, what we spend our time on, what thoughts we dwell in (if we’re mentally stable and capable enough), our reactions…

Again, life and we, ourselves, are so nuanced. So I know different seasons bring on different challenges.

So when you’re in a good headspace and place in life, invest some time in learning how to be more self-aware.

Start actively and intentionally changing your language–words are spells!

“Whether you believe you can or can’t, you’re right.” - Henry Ford

I’ve daydreamed how different mom’s life could’ve been even before she died, and as I take things day by day to learn who I actually am, I’m finding myself returning to the lessons in this letter again.

I hope you found some value here as well.

Have a lovely day, no matter what your title, and I’ll see ya soon.

My last letter to mom I found, and shared pieces of, with you.