An Update

Where I've been, where we're going, and another chance at life

In our new backyard!

Last time I wrote in April, I wasn’t doing my best.

Soon after that post my days were filled with:

• Picking up and transferring furniture by myself.

• Outings with loved ones (I keep being asked to recommend places to eat and haven’t disappointed yet!).

• A going away party.

• Therapy.

• Dates.

• Trying to shop away some emotional pain.

And that was just April! More has happened since.

*cough my first car accident that totaled our car and almost rolled me off a 10-foot drop cough*

But I digress…

Despite feeling a flicker of inspiration and motivation to finally write at the beginning of April, I had no clue how to return here. I had so much to say but didn’t know where to start.

I actually started a draft last month for my first post back and shared some of my conflicted feelings there:

April 26, 2024 - 12:35pm

Hey there,

I’ve been staring out the window at my mailbox down the street for nearly a week now. It’s too cold out for me to justify that walk.

I’m too lazy to prioritize retrieving our mail over my comfort.

And it’s made me realize… there’s been a lot of themes around comfort versus discomfort in my life lately.

From the discomfort of being too shy to introduce myself at a going away party where I initially knew no one (so I stood by the garage and read. Awkward.)…

To telling a potential romantic interest over the phone (with a very shaky and uncertain voice!) that I was going to focus on someone else… 

And the subconscious comfort of perfectionism has been just as polarizing!

I have so much to say that I’ve conceptualized over the past weeks. 

So much, that I’ve chosen not to say a word at all.

Because I’ve told myself all these stories of needing everything to be perfect. 

It all needs to be in a well-developed essay. A LONG essay.

So I chose to stay comfortable with the familiarity of just… not posting at all. Trying to make sense of all the concepts swirling in my brain by being paralyzed with fear of speaking on anything at the “wrong time.”

(Spoiler: there IS no “wrong time”, or “wrong” way!!)

So I’ve come before you today, to share some updates! And what’s to come:

And… That was it. That week got busy, the crash happened, more happened…

Fast-forward to now, May 2024, and I’m excitedly back for real this time!

Lemme map out for you what’s to come over the next few weeks (months?!):

One: Paid subbies… Two pieces are coming your way!

As a huge thank you to the paid subscribers who’ve stayed with me this whole time as I figured things out! On Friday (May 17th), I’m sharing with you something I wrote before my mom died. A more vulnerable post about what I wish would’ve been my reality. Sometimes I wonder who else had complex relationships with loved ones…

The following Friday (May 24th), you’ll be receiving another personal post before my mom passed.

This was is raw and sloppy but it was a stream of thought during–what I assume–anticipatory grief for my mom.

And interestingly enough, it was triggered by an episode of Adventure Time.

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Two: Everyone… Be prepared for a mini memoir!!

This… THIS is the solution to all I wanted to write but not knowing how to express it to you!

The past six months has been a rollercoaster ride of going through my frustratingly aimless Lost Girl Era, searching for a guy to brighten my life¹, and a mishmash of a conclusion to these struggles (consider it more of a breather; we’re no way close to a “happily ever after”).

When it hit me how I could serialize² my experiences (and learnings), I blasted through mapping out how I’d share everything with you!

There’ll be at least 12 installments delivered to your inbox, and I plan to start with the introduction post June 1st, with a new installment coming out once per week!

I’m SO excited for this!

Three: During and after the serialized memoir…

I’m more than happy to focus on making this serialization test the best it can be for you! And at a great time–we’re in the middle of moving!

Things will start picking up soon and knowing what I’m gonna be writing about will be helpful for me to work ahead and listen to your feedback as I tighten up each installment for you.

Sometimes (if I’m able) I may send a newsletter here and there, or a random piece I want to share with you. But once I’m officially done with this serialized memoir, I’d like to write a weekly newsletter for you.

I recently realized the pieces I post don’t necessarily have to be in real-time. And that really took the pressure off of what I initially felt a weekly piece to you had to be (and I have some topic ideas for this as well).

Ideas I’m playing with…

Another idea I had was to write book critiques.

If it’s still an idea buzzing in my head in a few months after I’m done with the serialized mini memoir, I think I’d like to try my hand at that.

There’s a book rant I recorded at the beginning of 2024, about a handful of books that disappointed me and why that I still need to flesh out. And that may be the start of the next project after the mini memoir.

I don’t want you missing out on what’s to come! Be sure you’re subscribed so you get everything delivered directly to your inbox!

Welp, that’s the catch-up! I’m already so stoked for our future here! It took some time and trusting myself that the answer would come (and life kinda just happened too). But we’re here now, together. :)

Paid subbies, I’ll see you Friday!

And everyone collectively, I’ll see you at the beginning of June!

Feel free to share this post so others won’t miss out on the fun either!

1. Yeah, I know…

2. A serialized novel is a novel that’s delivered bit by bit in installments rather than chapters, leaving you eager to read the next piece. Kinda like a TV series that leaves you at the edge of your sear each episode… Like Breaking Bad!