Curated Diaries #2: The good, bad, & reflective
Journaling resource shares, and a good January that went a little sour
Welcome to Curated Diaries, a bi-weekly series collecting thoughts and photos from a life being built to be well-lived.
“Whatever we say, we’re always talking about ourselves.” - Alison Bechdel
January 21, 2023 - 12:17pm
I’ve found myself dancing in my seat a lot lately!
I’m in a season where I’m SO jazzed to face the day! So much so that I’ve been getting up before 8am all this week (except Sunday. I stayed snuggled in bed until a little after 9am).
I was excited to finish and share my hair autonomy essay.
I wrote words of encouragement for fellow writers in a Substack Note and it made its rounds! Thank you all SO much for your support!
At the end of the week, I found out my dad checked out my work here on Substack and sent it to the family group chat, so I’ve been showered with a second wave of love on that front too!
But before the ebbs of love online and off, I was just excited to do what I wanted to do.
At the beginning of 2024, I vowed to eliminate “should” from my vocabulary as best I could; my therapist caught me several times wrapped up too tightly in that word last year.
I’ve personally realized that constantly navigating your life with “should”s not only gets you nowhere fast but sends you down a path of shaming yourself for what you think you should be doing.
That’s something I’ve embraced this week while deconditioning1. I’d catch myself feeling like I should (bleh) stay on task with the schedule I planned out earlier in the day, but would find myself getting caught up in one thing for way longer than I allotted time for. It left me wanting to work late into the night, and not feeling satisfyingly tired at the end of my days. It felt like I needed to do more to feel like I’d done enough.
I’ve been breaking that cycle this weekend and it’s been MUCH better! On Saturday, I felt like I used up all my creative energy, and my brain power in the best way. I didn’t feel drained, or exhausted. But deliciously tired and satisfied with what I did that day (and it was mainly responding to Substack comments, creating two self-expressive outlet posts on TikTok, reading articles, and playing video games and digital painting)!
More times than not, the “should”s come from arbitrary stories we tell ourselves that hold absolutely no weight!
It was within this understanding, that I dove gradually deeper into my Human Design.
I finally came up with an intro post idea I’ll write soon enough, but in a nutshell, Human Design is your own “genetic makeup” for how you’re designed to show up in the world.
And unsurprisingly, it may not be in the way all the “experts” and “gurus” tell us to! It’s not always “logical.”
The more things click when you experiment with and reflect on your Human Design, the more confidently you’re able to trust yourself. Make decisions for yourself. Do what feels good for you, and see the fruits from making decisions based on your design.
Again, I’ll hook you up when I write the introduction to Human Design post if you’re curious. No worries. :)
Anyway, all of this is to say that this week’s excitement also orbited around me creating a resource for Human Design Generators to use daily! I’m still designing it, but am beyond excited to finish it so I can start using it to see how well it works.
The middle of January has been kind to me.
January 24, 2024 - 6:03pm
I slightly take back the last sentence from my previous entry.
While re-reading through everything to wrap up this Curated Diary, I had to mention that later on the 21st my uncle out of state abruptly passed away.
It jarred me harder than I’d imagine it would’ve, but I couldn’t continue this installment with the same energy of everything being grand in January.
One of the biggest upsets about his passing was that he had just retired from a laborious job three months ago. He was so excited to finally stay in and relax! And it was cut extremely short.
It really makes me think more intentionally about the life I want to build for myself; I’m willing to jump into the discomfort of growing pains… But I also want to enjoy my life and the journey along the way.
We’ve been checking in with the family and it’s just been a lot of busy work right now, but I’d appreciate you keeping our family in your thoughts. Thanks so much! ♥
Living lately has looked like (from left to right, top to bottom):
Having a girl’s night dinner with the women in my family!
Fitting in intentional play with the game, Spiritfarer, on the Switch.
Candle-making during girl’s night before our dinner.
Fixing my week-long craving for tteobokki and salted tempura shrimp.
Trying 49er-style pancakes with my family at our favorite breakfast place.
A bonus photo that didn’t make the hair autonomy essay I recently posted.
SHOW & TELL TABS
Learning from Genki 2 version 3? Here’s the audio (the apps don’t have good reviews): https://t-nagano.com/projects/JapaneseGenki3rdEdAudio/
Day One Journaling via web browser beta (even for Windows users): https://dayoneapp.com/web/
CUTE MINIATURE ROOMS & SHOPS: https://www.rolifeonline.com/collections/super-creator?gclid=Cj0KCQiA-62tBhDSARIsAO7twbbgJD0oIs5fmAb8E0c7ZrkIzJRu_BjXRqEEhgwPKi7G3w6XeGartFYaArUoEALw_wcB
The perfect (nostalgic) controller I hope to buy for my future Nintendo Switch you can dock to your TV (or at least one with similar features—no drifting and comfortable!): https://nyxigame.com/products/nyxi-wizard-wirleless-joy-pad-for-switch-switch-oled?source_type=sales_plugin_af&slt=sales_plugin_af&referral_code=2ADWEVC6PTJA&sku=18062721755608661389441755
The best journaling video I’ve seen after watching over a dozen:
Homework for life–a journaling follow-up:
Same person from the best journaling video, sharing their love for Day One:
The video that sold Day One premium to me! Definitely considering it now.
It began to feel messy at the end with all the things I was excited to share with you, mainly journaling resources! But hopefully I find a better, more aesthetic groove in the future.
I’ll keep working at it, and I’ll see you soon. ♥
Warmly,
Cierra M
Deconditioning in the Human Design world is another way to say you’re unlearning habits and beliefs that never or no longer serve you in the life and mindset you’re trying to build for yourself.