Friday Reflection #23: Exploring Shadows Through Self-Expression
Something great's been brewing all week in my mind
Welcome to Friday Reflections! A weekly newsletter sharing current life reflections, and 1 thought or thing I loved and/or learned from the week as I navigate rebuilding my life as a late bloomer.
Heyooo!
Writing to you from my cousins’ couch in their den…
In Houston, Texas!
We’re staying with some family from my dad’s side for a little bit, and it’s my first time meeting them all. It’s been really nice!
Anyway, about the shadow/self-expression mentioned in the title of this week’s reflection…
The day before we left, I had observed how excited I was to play Stardew Valley on my computer now that I had a more comfortable and efficient setup (that I also really like looking at and can’t wait to upgrade a smidge more!).
But guess what I did? I decided it, “wasn’t time yet” to indulge in my excitement. Like I was waiting for, “the right time.”
And I find that so interesting!
Why am I delaying gratification is this way? Still thinking through it.
On that same day, my mind started buzzing with ideas on how to really run with the Stardew idea (and more!):
Create a new Substack publication for my mind’s playground.
Possibly create videos for it.
Geek-out about things I’m currently obsessing over like mechanical keyboards and manga and anime and the accessibility of V-Tubers and Minecraft.
And I wanna just PLAY with this idea and run with it!
(And honestly, let me know how interested you’d be in these types of topics!)
This Substack you’re reading–currently Losing Orbit–will always be a precious, almost philosophical place for me.
I’ve been slowly formulating new ideas for Losing Orbit, but I wanna keep my personal promise to not rush the process. It’s honestly how some of my best pieces came to me.
To have a second Substack where I can be more loose and playful with what I create and really dive into what’s making me happy? It sounds perfect! But is it sustainable? I dunno!
And I won’t know until I actually try it for myself.
This swirling daydream that’s clung to me since Tuesday has only grown as I sat here earlier watching a movie I’ll mention in my One Thing below.
I’ve been seeing SO much in my world around this work of Unshaming what we don’t/won’t witness, the gifts and challenges of shadows we live out in our lives and try to dismiss from experiencing or observing because we immediately see them as “bad” (thanks to the Money Made program I’ve been in, and will be coming to a close later this month! *sob*), reading about it in this book (BookShop affiliate link) I’m revisiting that now makes more sense since being in Money Made…
Even while reading Happy Place (Bookshop affiliate link), which I may write a short piece on to see if anyone else saw what I saw while reading this year’s popular summer reads.
It really clicked after witnessing several times the power of having a mentor who can channel your expression into something fun, healthy, and productive when you’re otherwise going down a bad path.
That’s magic! That’s a gift.
That’s awe-inspiring and I think I’d want to leave a mark like that somday, too.
But for now? I’m fine with taking things a step at a time and really working on truly leaning in on what’s currently exciting me without experiencing shame around it.
I know I probably sound like a broken record, and I apologize. This is a much harder pattern to break than I thought! To really let lose and HAVE FUN. Haha.
Life is full of surprises, so I wanna see what can really come of a path led by my heart rather than my mind (logic, logic, logic) for once.
This One Thing…
One of my cousins we’re visiting here in Houston was a part of this spectacular band, and was a prominent catalyst for this week’s Friday Reflection.
The way this group came together as high schoolers to create a world-renowned stage band is amazing. And the nucleus was one man who changed a lot of their lives. A man who taught them all how to play, and play together in that band.
Seeing this group come back together after 30 years to play again to share it with the man who changed their lives was so touching.
I highly recommend this documentary. And this is coming from someone who’s not big into music at all.
Well, that’s all for this week.
Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts on a Substack about “hot takes” on games, animations, manga, and more in the poll above, or in a comment down below.
See ya soon!
Warmly,
Cierra
Hey Cierra, that documentary looks like a blast! How awesome to have family involved in such a feat.
I'm intrigued by music teachers, directors-people who can pull others together through sound. We had an awesome music teacher, Mrs. Anderson, that pulled us 8th graders and others with her magnetic personality and somehow got voice, sound and harmony out of a bunch of junior high and senior high school kids!
Music is no joke, and to have such a one like yours, gotta check it out!
(not really a gamer at all but I'm sure if you create it, they will come!)