Friday Reflection #26: SO. Many. Shares.

Human Design, death, polling a new name for Losing Orbit, & more

Welcome to Friday Reflections! A weekly newsletter sharing current life reflections, and 1 thought or thing I loved and/or learned from the week as I navigate rebuilding my life as a late bloomer.

The books that started this week’s wild spiral

Hey there!

This week won’t have a “This One Thing” share…

Because I have many.

From celebrating a new paid subscriber(!!), to a renewed love for Human Design, to an epiphany about finding my digital home(s), to a video that made me think about mom’s demise, to a YouTube channel for those who’re wanting to better their writing (and it’s not Abbie Emmons!), TO needing your input about our new name here!

And more (it’s only Wednesday when I’m beginning to write this; there could be additions!)?!

So lemme not waste your time with more words. Let’s jump into it!

A quick shoutout!

Once again, I never know the comfort level of those who decide to and are able to become paid subscribers so I just wanted to say…

Thank you, you know who you are, for not only financially supporting me but leaving me the sweetest message!

It’s bittersweet that we’re able to bond over a topic such as loss and finding ourselves again through it, but I’m so glad that at least my writing can help you feel in community. ♥️

And, of course, I’m absolutely in love with my entire community and will always appreciate y’all for continuing to join me on this bumpy ride!

Thank you!

Remembering why I love Human Design

There may be a bit of mom talk in this Friday Reflection, but that’s just how the week went.

To start this pattern, I’ve gotta talk about my relationship with Human Design¹.

A few years ago I started looking into it, and it clicked for me after over half a year of looking into it on and off. It began helping me make decisions in my life and everything! Then I got curious… I tried looking up my mom’s Human Design (you need a birth time and I didn’t have it) and essentially, what I could get from her information showed me how out-of-alignment she was.

Like… What I could find fit her SO well. And it saddened me how devout a Christian she was, because she wouldn’t supplement prayer and the Bible with anything else.

Fast forward to losing mom, and I essentially lost ALL interest in everything but writing. I very casually used Human Design to guide me and the decisions I was making for my life (including resting and letting go of trying to force some type of momentum toward anything that just wasn’t there).

Fast forward even more, and I’ve been getting back into it recently (and some other modalities to be honest!), but this week…

I wanted to look at mom’s chart again. We got her birth time in a birth certificate earlier this year that came in for another reason and I was able to see her exact chart.

And goodness it was mind-blowing to read… Wow.

To see her most aligned and unaligned states in the life purpose portion of her chart (it’s like an overall aligned theme in your life when you follow your design) made sooo. much. sense. for her.

It validated sooo much.

And it made me wanna live closer to my own design too.

It reminded me of the clients I have made tear up with the validations I’ve read in their charts.

So now? I’m experimenting in life with my own Human Design and it’s been really fun so far! We may talk more about it sometime later. :)

Speaking of mom, let’s get the most painful reflection out of the way, shall we?

A last goodbye…

I watch a lot of YouTube, and usually what I watch comes from my recommendations. But one video caught my eye.

A woman who looked tired and sick posted a 3-minute video a month ago titled, “Goodbye to all my friends” (warning: talks of death, illness, and cancer ahead in this chunk, and in the video linked above and below here).

Curious, I clicked it, and it really was a goodbye video.

I won’t go into much more detail about the video, but the woman’s name is Sue, and she makes the most insanely beautiful dot mandellas!! She has a small community online where she teaches and sells dot mandella templates, and is on several platforms.

But the video… It is a goodbye. And seeing her acceptance of her end (and also her sadness of not being able to continue with her family and community) was heartwrenching and precious.

Backing out of that video to see her life in contrast to what it’s become now was just so jarring.

It was raw and real and what I sorta wished happened with my mom. I wish she would’ve accepted something… shoot, anything more than she ever did.

I wish I could’ve had a talk more like Sue gave her community.

There were complex emotions involved in that video. It was sad, the comments were lovely (lots of new viewers because of YouTube constantly recommending it), and it was a huge reminder of our mortality.

It made me want to possibly look into death work more in the future. I still need to see if I can mentally handle it, but there’s something about the transition. Helping the end be as smooth and beautiful and pain-free and vulnerable as needed draws me in so much.

There are no second chances to end it as best as possible for everyone involved.

I dunno, I’m starting to ramble… But that video made me feel a lot. If nothing else, you should check out Sue’s mandalas–especially the ones against black stone. They really are gorgeous.

Now, moving away from the topics of mom and death…

I need your input on our newsletter name(!)

I’ve already deemed October to be an intentionally messy month (yay!). You’re getting the monthly doodle tomorrow, I’m about to begin working on a post about cold drinks I wanna share with you before it’s too late!! (You know, with fall and all.)

Or maybe my favorite hot drinks for now, since that’ll make more sense for the upcoming colder seasons—we’ll see!

And I’m still planning on sharing life’s ups and downs whether in a weekly reflection like this one, or an essay every once in a while.

Mom’s influence on my life–both good and bad–is still prominent in my life and I’ll talk about it from time to time. Including death and my spiritual curiosity (but that’ll be more around things like Human Design and ego work).

The name Losing Orbit came when I had an incessant NEED to write, but felt like I’d lost my orbit and center of gravity when mom died. I honestly thought I’d never come back from my demise.

But it’s almost a year later and SO much of me and my life’s changed since losing mom; Losing Orbit doesn’t feel as fitting anymore.

So I wanna propose some name ideas to you. I think I know what I wanna rename this newsletter, but I’d love your input too!

So, whaddya think?

Thanks for voting! Now, into a few more lighthearted finds:

In the spirit of Preptober!

NaNoWriMo is coming up and with it, Preptober has emerged. October is the month for writers of books to begin prepping their outlines and ideas for novel-writing in November, but even if you’re not participating or writing a book…

I found a YouTuber who teaches really great writing tips!

Ellen Brock has amazing videos on everything from how to describe emotions, how to write dialogue, and how to show, not tell, in your writing (an older version than the one shown above). And of course, novel-writing tips! She honestly makes me want to try and write a novel again, but her videos will still be around when I actually wanna commit to the task.

But I’m REALLY tempted to!!

An update on finding my digital home(s)

Finally–the last update–I’ve been trying to see where I want to spend my time online and have been (gradually, successfully) rewiring my brain to see certain spaces online differently.

I mentioned in last week’s Friday Reflection about how my mentor reminded me that I didn’t need to show up anywhere I didn’t want to online, even if I enjoy seeing other people creating things I like and would like to emulate.

So… I’ve been staying off Instagram unless I’m watching friends’ stories or doing a few scrolls at the end of the day. I thought about–if I ever want to–posting in IG stories at the end of the day, but haven’t felt a huge pull to yet.

Otherwise, obviously Substack is thee place to be!

And Threads is a good place when I just wanna word vomit random ish and KNOW it won’t make sense on Substack.

I wanna still find a way to incorporate more behind-the-scenes like… video so it feels more connective, so I’m still exploring and playing with what feels like fun.

Chat on Substack is a good middle ground for this so far, for me.

For now? I’m still thinking about filming fun Stardew Valley gameplays every once in a while!

We’ll see, we’ll see… But it was interesting posting about wanting to compartmentalize digital self-expression spaces and having some engagement for it on Notes (it’s like Substack’s social media). I’m not the only one, unfortunately! 

My reflection on Substack’s Notes earlier this week

Okay! A much longer one this week but my mind really was buzzing with a lot.

I hope you enjoyed the random ramblings and reflections!

Don’t forget to leave your input in the poll above and feel free to comment on anything that resonated with you from my shares down below (and join the community if you haven’t already!).

1. Human Design is a system and resource that helps you understand and work on accepting who you are as a person. How your energy works, how you’re designed to interact with others and yourself… It’s like astrology (it’s actually a mix of ancient teachings!).