Friday Reflections #6: It's starting to make sense!
On capturing moments over being fully present in them, values, reviving my manifestation spark, and underdog biker shorts.
Welcome to Friday Reflections! A weekly newsletter sharing 3 thoughts and things I loved and learned from the week as I navigate learning how to create a life I’m nourished by, and thriving in, without my mom (or caregiving for her).
Today I’m writing to you from our patio! Something I’ve rarely got to do (and to be honest, most of the time it felt uncomfortable to do) before mom passed.
It’s a beautiful day, the lawnmowers are finally out of earshot, and my Jimmy John’s sandwich and truffle kettle chips are being heated by the sun. 🙂
It’s also Wednesday. But you’ll get this, this Friday. By the time you read this, I’ll either be in Florida about to board a cruise ship, or I’ll be on the cruise ship. Walking around… I think? I dunno. It’ll be my first cruise. I don’t know how they work yet.
Anyway, onto the content (I’ve made it more digestible for you! Yaaay!).
Capturing a moment may be a liiiittle more important than fully experiencing it.
I found a video in my Google Photos I took during a family member’s birthday last summer. My dad was holding a sheet cake out for them, we were singing happy birthday, there was smiling and laughing…
It was 9 seconds long. Ended once there person laughed, everyone smiled, and cut off at the collective “yaaays” in the room.
That person is probably not gonna be here by the time their birthday comes this year.
I could hear my mom’s voice in the video, as well as an uncle I don’t see as much anymore because mom’s not here or well enough to meet with him (I don’t have my license yet to drive freely).
Our brains are powerful–magical, even. But one thing I’ve noticed they struggle with is remembering everything consciously.
That’s the beauty of captured memories!
I think it’s important to live in the present moment and experience it with your loved ones, and I also believe there’s absolutely nothing wrong with learning how to become more skillful at capturing moments of even the most sacred times on video or a photo.
I think I spoke about that regret with my mom. That despite her not wanting pictures or videos taken of her for over a decade or two, we should’ve snuck and done so anyway. Just to have it for ourselves,, because you never know what day will be someone’s last.
Or–with what I’m learning now–you’ll never know when the last time someone’s ability to stand, talk, laugh will be…
That’s why I believe it’s a blessing to live in a digital age that allows us to hold onto memories even when our brains can’t.
What do you think? Is there a compromise with that idea? When does it go too far? I’d love to hear your thoughts on learning how to capture moments rather than “putting the phone/camera down and being present with someone.”
Sometimes expanders are all you need.
So I’ve rediscovered expanders this week, and it’s finally lit something in me that makes me even more ready to figure myself out better and live my life more!
Expanders–in this case–is a manifestation term for seeing someone do or be in a way that intuitively pings at you as something you admire or want for yourself. It’s alluring like bees to flowers. (I love her definition of it if you wanna dive deeper into the concept.)
And before I go any further, I want to let you know that I’ve been into manifestation work since 2016 but it’s never been a surface-level thing for me when it comes to life transformations.
You won’t get sustainable results by running to TikTok to look up how to win your ex back, or by practicing the 555 technique1 and getting bummed that your desire didn’t come by doing simply that.
I’ve intentionally manifested quite a few things that blew me away since 2016 or so, and I truly believe I got those opportunities and have transformed parts of myself because I learned we have more power over our lives than we’re ever taught. And I learned the importance of self-awareness, which breaks those autopilot self-sabotage moments that become a deeper-engrained pattern that doesn’t serve you.
But I digress…
This expander spoke to me because I became curious about trying scripting again and needed more examples. She started from a place of not knowing what she wanted for her life so felt very relatable for me.
And this expander inspired me because I could relate to the woman being interviewed’s mindset shifts needed to change her life. Not necessarily in such a drastic way, but it was like a nudge to concepts I’d forgotten and needed that type of reminder.
Both of these expanders reignited the spark (and sent me down a rabbit hole) I haven’t felt or been in, in years around manifestation work, and it feels pretty validating when I take into account my Human Design as well.
I’ve been waiting to get back to a place where I could start sharing with my community something I’m passionate about; as I said, it felt like everything left me and I did a complete factory reset as a person once mom passed.
And her channel really gave me something for me to respond to!2
I’m more ready now than I’ve been in at least a year to rediscover myself and I’m finally believing once again that anything truly is possible for my life.
The best rundown (and exercise) on values I’ve ever listened to.
Africa Brooke may be a name you’ve heard around the internet. She’s burst through so many hive-mind beliefs and is all about halting self-censorship in the most thoughtful and liberating way.
She’s a force, and she has a podcast. And her episode on values–like everything else she shares online–is unlike any other perspective out there.
I’m used to people saying to find your values on a list, and then live them out. Something vague like that.
Africa dives deep into the process and makes me so excited to do the work on rebuilding my identity foundation.
I’d highly recommend her online presence.
BONUS: Old Navy biker shorts.
That’s it. They’re buttery, have pockets, and fit comfortably. Got some while I was trying on shorts for this cruise.
I’ve never owned biker shorts and I can’t comment on how long they’ll last but I just wanted to put that out there.
Don’t sleep on ‘em if you’re into ‘em!
They’re uh… On a massive sale right now so I couldn’t link them. But I checked the tag and it’s high-waisted with an 8-inch seam.
Welp, time to get my eyes off the screen and to keep living life! I have a transformation formula I’m ready to embody and play with after such an inspiring week and I can’t wait to share how that goes.
Later, gator!
P.S. Pssst! Which of the 4 things this week interested you the most? Capturing moments, understanding your values, inspiring stories leading to manifestation practices, or biker shorts? I’m always open to hearing what you have to say.
The 555 technique is a manifestation technique that involves you writing down your desire 55 times for 5 days straight… You could try it! The most important thing with any technique is how it is making you FEEL? If a manifestation technique feels like a chore to do rather than fun, don’t do it! If a technique causes discomfort, that’s when you get curious and ask yourself “why?” Footers aren’t meant for additional essays so I’ll leave it there, haha.
Just an FYI: as a Generator, I’m meant to wait to respond to things externally from me before making decisions, and I need to give it time per my authority. I’ve struggled with how uncomfortable it’s felt to be aimless and waiting for things to really spark a next step for me, but I think it’s finally come! Lot’s of HD lingo and exploration; feel free to ask me about it in the comments if you’re curious!