Mind Over Matter
And negative spirals... and delusion... and sometimes, even prayer.
This was written within the first ~5 hours of Damar Hamilton’s collapse.
I spent some of my Monday at my grandparents’ scrolling through a collection of old writing topics that just don’t seem as great, relevant, or sound since mom passed.
It stressed me out a little to see that most of my old drafts and outlines no longer feel appropriate. Because what in the world was I gonna write about now?
But when we got home and I was done unpacking my things, I walked into the living room to see my dad watching a strangely quiet football game that transitioned to three reporters who seemed to be at a loss for words.
My dad rewound his recording of the Monday game to Damar Hamlin’s hit and collapse.
We watched it all unfold as medics rushed to do CPR for 9 minutes before taking him away in an ambulance.
And we watched the mix of fear, pain, and shock flow through the players’ faces and bodies as they moved through stunned silence, and held each other through prayer and waves of emotion.
The contemplation and anyone speaking a word of wonder as to whether or not the game was gonna continue was absolutely appalling to me.
We’ve been through a pandemic that’s completely shattered all expectations of how people show up for all types of “professional” work, and within life itself in general.
To see how these men reacted to such a traumatic moment and then still expect them to perform at all, let alone within a 5-minute warm-up was a ridiculous expectation.
Hearing the way some of the reporters emphasized how some of the players were openly weeping as if it was a shocking spectacle made me want to hug and protect those men even more than I originally did.
I wish society would start treating men like humans, not indestructible machines.
But I digress…
What I really wanted to talk about was how fast or slow the reality of death can come at you.
Hearing about Hamlin and just how much of a whiplash his abrupt change in health status can cause him, his family, friends, teammates, and fans were humbling, and something I happened to compare to my mom’s journey as Hamlin’s was unfolding on TV.
It was a humbling reminder to see how quickly life can change for the worst. Even for someone as young as 24.
It reminded me–and I’m sure everyone else–the usual cliche reminder that “life is precious” and “short” and needs to be “lived out every day as if it were your last.”
But it also reminded me how sometimes death can be a choice (whether in an instant or over years of abuse to yourself), and this young man didn’t have that choice.
We can’t live in fear that something so sporadic and abrupt can take us out in the blink of an eye (that type of awareness would drive us insane).
And even so, there’s plenty we can do to actively take care of ourselves as best we can.
No, it won’t always save us. We can eat as clean as humanly possible, live with as little stress as possible, and pray for good or better health until our throats are dry.
And sometimes, nothing will save us no matter how hard we try.
But why not take charge of your life in the meantime to have a better chance at a better and longer life?
Why not advocate for your health both mentally and physically?
We can’t avoid death, but I can now say with quite a bit of confidence that there’s some instances where we can prevent it from coming prematurely.
I believe that comes when we’re able to have self-awareness around our mindset and actions, and an understanding that we do indeed have more power over our lives than we’re usually ever taught.
I usually see “powerless” teachings in Christian spaces.
Not always, but I’ve definitely seen it, and the demise that’s come from it.
I eventually learned during my own personal growth journey that most people live in effect, and think life is happening to them rather than for them.
We’re at cause. We can decide what we focus on in life and take responsibility for our own well-being.
I 100% believe that stepping into your power can co-exist with Christ if you’re a Christian. And that it absolutely should.
What you focus on does grow. Confirmation bias1 is real.
And your thoughts ultimately lead to the actions you decide to take unless you learn differently and do differently. It’s possible and such a benefit to a life well-lived.
This isn’t meant to come off as some toxic positivity spiel. People come from all walks of life and experiences and relationships and I validate that fact.
I just say all of this because without mindset work, I know how bad life can get. And it’s unnecessarily so.
Google defines confirmation bias as “the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories.”