Monthly Musings: January 2023
Starting my first new year without mom.
Welcome to Losing Orbit’s Monthly Musings, a recollection of the small pleasures and fun things I enjoyed each month in-between processing what it means to rediscover myself after loss.
I’d love to hear what you enjoyed this month as well in the comments!
For each Monthly Musing, I’d like to describe the month in one word, and I think the word I’d use to describe January is pressure.
I usually love New Years; I’m a sucker for the “fresh start” feeling. And 2023’s the first year I’ve been able to fully focus on myself, my needs, and my desires. But ironically this first year of freedom only came about because I lost my mom… Which kinda takes a toll on your intention-setting enthusiasm.
So many loved ones asking me, “what’s next?” after mom passed made me put pressure on myself to show up hitting the ground running soon after her death. I let what I knew my mom would say about me to some family members control how fast I navigated such a huge life shift, and it didn’t end well.
I was starting to commit to too much, too fast. There was some feral need in my subconscious to prove to my family that I really did have a life I was trying to build when mom was still alive, but I eventually stopped that nonsense. So I took the advice from those same curious-about-my-future loved ones and decided to just go at my own pace and slow way down.
Take this new life a day at a time.
Since then, I’ve spent the second half of January enjoying life much more, and letting my next step in it come as it may.
I had a crab boil with a longtime friend, I visited family (and saw some of the downtown nightlife!) in Chicago, and attended some virtual workshops to help nourish and inspire the direction I’m thinking of going with my life.
And it was perfect! Toward the last few days of the month, I came up with ideas that will be fun and serve both my community, and myself as I get back into online business land. And, it seems to meld together seamlessly with my desire to prioritize my newsletter and the creation of it.
As I write this, I’m so excited to finish setting things up and can’t wait to test everything out!
Here’s to February. 🥂 ← There’s sparkling white grape juice in my glass.
5 things that got me through the month
I’m stretching myself as a writer, but not in this section. When I wanna geek out about something, I want to geek. out. But I also want to create a limit on how long I geek out. No brief bullet points here explaining what got me through the month, but I will stop at 5 things (in no particular order), so I can really think about what impacted me for the month (and spare you an extra-long novel of writing).
ONE: Portable nature
It was gloomy for a long time where I live, and with a broken daylight lamp unable to support me through SAD in my dim room, I had to turn to another option. And boy was it unbelievably helpful!!
Playing this video in the background of my workday was magical. It brought me back to spring and summer, and I swear to you… Every time I played it, I swear I could breathe easier through my nostrils. It makes you feel so energized like you’ve been dropped right into your favorite lazy day outside in nature when you were younger.
TWO: God of War noob is now a mega fan!
As someone who doesn’t even own a PS4 or 5 (I was a Nintendo girl growing up and so were my cousins when I’d go over to my aunt’s to play), I watched a gaming YouTuber I enjoy play this game called God of War: Ragnarok.
And oh… my… gosh.
It was beautiful. It was PERFECTION in its story, graphics, character development, dialogue, accessibility for their community, voice acting… Ahhhhh…
I’m seriously contemplating getting a tattoo of Kratos, the main character, and one of the many wise lines he spoke onto me.
Apparently, there’s several games before it, but if you watch the right gamer they’ll explore all around the game’s world and you’ll be able to pick up a lot of what’s going on without having to play (or watch, in my case) previous games.
In a nutshell, Kratos (the blunt, emotionless, and monotone God of War), has retired from his hot-headed and violent past of murdering Gods in order to raise his son, Atreus (who’s a teen in this game). He lost his wife (Atreus, his mom) and now they’re living life secluded.
But they learn of a war coming called Ragnarok, and they do everything in their power to stop it.
GoW: Ragnarok is a story about fate, parenting, grief, emotional and personal development, and more.
I’ve watched behind-the-scenes videos and many of the actors cried and reflected on their own lives and parenting methods and hardships.
It’s an exceptional watch and play (I can only assume).
THREE: Laura Belgray–copywriter extraordinaire–creates GOLD again!
I’m gonna be honest, my mind and tasks have been quite a bit scattered this month as I’ve worked toward re-acclimating myself to this new life… but one thing I’m SO glad to have in my corner is Laura Belgray’s Story Goldmine freebie.
I dunno how long she’ll keep it free, but if you’re thinking your life is too boring to write about, she gives you 60+ examples of ways to incorporate life’s mundane themes and happenings into compelling stories AND instructions on how she ties it in to sell (whether that’s for money, or to get people to want to take action on something she has available).
FOUR: 9 minutes to less anger
I’ve been trying to figure out my time management ever since mom passed, and part of that is making sure I start my mornings off as grounded and peaceful as (I’d imagine) a Buddhist monk would. I’ve developed a loose routine of things I’d prefer not to skip each morning, and EFT tapping has been a good maintenance tool for my emotions.
Thanks to the NLP coaching certification I got back in 2021, I’ve been able to make up my own scripts on the fly sometimes when I wanna do a few quick rounds, but a lot of the time I just use Brad Yates’ freely-available tapping sequences on YouTube.
And the anger one was SO helpful for me!
Essentially with tapping, all you do is tap where Brad taps, and repeat after him; his demeanor will remind you of Mr. Rogers in a way.
And if you’re new to tapping, I’d like to add that doing ones around emotions you want to diminish can work best when you’re in the midst of that feeling (like anger for example). But try it anyway if you’re feeling pulled toward doing so! You never know what’s hidden beneath the surface of our consciousness.
The last thing I’d love for you to try before trying a Brad Yates tapping video is to rate your anger from a 1 to 10 (1 being as chill as a cat sunbathing on the back of your couch, 10 being you randomly judo-chopping a stranger in the throat because you’re so mad) and when the video’s over, check in with yourself and see where you’d rate that anger.
Have fun!
FIVE: Skillshare classes for my sanity
Though slightly overwhelming (SO. MANY. CLASSES.), I’ve found myself turning to Skillshare a lot this month to mainly take some art classes.
After being inspired by
, I’ve been looking into drawing comics and my likelihood as one mainly. The only other classes I’ve gotten to dabble with this month have been ones about daily drawing practices for your journal, and a figure drawing class to help with gouache paintings. (Pssst! All those links are all classes I’ve (at least) watched… this month I’m hoping to actually do what I learned.)This next section was inspired by/stolen from
, I love the idea of a monthly wrap-up that documents the small joys so that’s what I’d love to do too. Thank you, Nic Antoinette!Simple Pleasures This Month
Buying a mini cherry blossom “Lego” set. Installing my purple gradient Nintendo Switch Lite skin. Getting one big bubble in my new phone screen protector and my Switch’s new screen protector, and both going away the next day. All the new games I have for my switch that I’ve yet to play. Waiting each weekend to do both (“Lego”-building, and Switch-playing) so I always have something to look forward to. Skillshare painting and drawing classes. Getting back into my Human Design studies. Daydreaming a new design for a set of nails I want to paint. God of War: Ragnarok playthrough watches. Buffalo cauliflower tempura tacos on repeat. Crab boil. Korean corndogs. My aunt’s lasagna, and her company. Grandpa’s waving hand. Starting then quitting Yoga with Adriene’s yoga challenge because I felt too much resistance to it. Slowly building a morning routine. Finding non-negotiables for my morning. Fading acne scars with one new product. Finding maintenance and a foundation in EFT tapping. Falling in love with the lifestyle of 2Hearts1Seoul again. Choo Choo Charles playthroughs. Understanding existential crises now (yes, I consider that awareness a simple pleasure). Finding themes on grief everywhere. Cherry cola flavored (and caffeinated) sparkling water. Longanisa, eggs, and rice. Paying off one of my student loans(!!!). Kathrin’s Money Block Melting Masterclass and some money abundance soon after. Rekindling my love affair with Skillshare. The cathartic intimacy of Rachel Cargle’s Ascend Masterclass. Seeing gentle, peaceful, yet firm boundaries in the women I look up to. Realizing I can now embody that to teach people how to treat me. Substack reading. A nurturing community in my IG stories. Watching behind-the-scenes videos about God of War: Ragnarok, and crying. Watching the annual Thanksgiving video from a YouTube vlogger mom and I missed last year. Helluvaboss reaction-watching spree. Realizing I haven’t known where my Kindle Paperwhite’s been since August 2022, then magically finding it. BoJack Horseman video essays. Well + Good pilates workouts. New growth on plants. Being comforted to know that mom’s death, and my shift in life happened during my Saturn Return. Seeing THE BEAN in Chicago! Visiting family in Chicago I haven’t seen in over a decade. First H-Mart visit. Finding the original Honey Butter Chips I’ve been wanting for years in H-Mart. Finding a 12-pack of my favorite ramen cheaper than at home. Finding the modern makgeolli I wanted to try at H-Mart also. Finding a delicious new frozen crab cake. Salmon cooked just right to end the month.
How was your January? What made it grand?
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Thanks again!
Ooooh! I love that you're playing with comics. I only started drawing a few months ago and it's SO FUN! I'm learning to look so much more deeply at things, which is an unexpected bonus. And thinking in visual ways is a totally new skill that I hope you love developing as much as I do. So I'm excited for you. ALSO, I think that this is the first time a fellow substacker has mentioned Great Things in their stack, so I wanted to thank you for making history and being awesome!
Love that you are having fun with the end-of-month format!!