Before I could land one black Birkenstock knockoff onto Walmart’s tiled floor, a man came up to me, nearly blocking me from getting to the rows of carts.
He was a slender man with a white tank and hair that looked freshly cut, and the first words he said to me were, “Hey there, beautiful! I’m about to head out to meet up with Jay-Z and Usher at my club.”
(Mind you, I live in the Midwest first of all…)
I’m not good at ignoring someone once we’ve made eye contact, so there I stood. Cornered by this man who was name-dropping, and bragging about things I was 99.9% sure weren’t true. It was like he was speaking in tongues.
He literally used every ounce of energy directed at me to try and impress me with celebs, money, and status.
Every. Single. Word.
And I, who at the time was making $60 a month from my small college job while living at home, was not impressed.
It was insulting, actually.
The only thing that guy thought would grab and keep my attention were shallow and materialistic things, like I’m some baby seeing sequins for the first time.
So when I’d see the same tactic being used by coaches and bloggers, I’d automatically let out a deep sigh. (It’s amazing how much easier it is to viscerally show annoyance when no one’s there to see it.)
Online, I’d see bloggers, coaches, course creators, and the like only celebrate huge money wins. And it was a huge turnoff for me.
It takes advantage of those really struggling with a scarcity mindset (definitely me at one point), especially in a world that craves instant gratification like the Golden Girls crave big slices of cheesecake around their kitchen table.
And some people can’t even imagine six figures coming in at all, let alone consistently.
All of this made me think about there being more to the craft and work you do than money. And I’m not saying at all that you can’t desire a lucrative income and finding work you love doing.
It just bothers me when that’s constantly the only focus in the way people market themselves, or celebrate wins.
I’d be so bummed when I’d see the only coaches getting recognized in online groups be the ones that made $10k in a day, but not nearly the same energy would be put into another coach announcing that they were able to hold a civilized conversation with their estranged parent for the first time in years thanks to the coaching techniques they learned and embodied.
The same type of hype wasn’t extended to those who set their first major boundary with a friend and stuck with it, or the person whose hypnosis session actually helped them love themselves with ease. So much so, they began waking up early for morning runs in their public park without hesitation.
And that always bothered me.
Your transformational growth as a student under a mentor should be just as hyped and celebrated as a student who booked their first $5,000 client.
But I very rarely see that. I rarely see people celebrating not only personal transformations, but just loving the work they get to do and the various wins around that.
It’s felt SO good to finally fully embrace showing up as a writer here on the Substack platform. I’ve noticed the simplest wins have been giving me butterflies when it comes to me being able to unapologetically show up writing what I love. And being praised, paid via gigs, or even having someone buy me a matcha (or a few!) and leave me encouraging and supportive notes. They’re all amazing perks when it comes to being able to write exactly how I want to.
Seeing people actually write about how my work resonates with them, or how grateful they were for my weekly words in the past, completely beats out my fluctuating follower count on IG any day.
My heart actually jumped with excitement when I got my first two subscribers on my newsletter the day I announced it was live!
My heart’s never done that when I kept getting email signups for an “Ideal Day/Week” freebie I made and promoted on a YouTube video. Despite getting several signups per week for over a month, I wasn’t as excited as I am about my first two subscribers because the former was always some form of me trying to force a financial outcome in the end.
Force the way I communicate my own transformations, trying to fit them into the little molds we’re given in the online marketing world. But I work off energetics now, and use my Human Design as a compass for how I show up for my work and my life.
And despite spending years fueled by self-doubt around writing what I wanted to simply because I enjoyed it, (and self-sabotaging all sorts of opportunities because of it)…
Despite having it drilled into our heads that video is KING and that your work won’t work unless you fully shift your focus to video…
I want writers who love to write to know that yes, we do still exist.
We haven’t evaporated. We’re still just as passionate and innately in-tune with our love of writing and self-expression through it as these YouTubers who’ve been holding cameras since they could pick up peas with their newly-developed fine motor skills.
Writers still have a definite place in this world.
In the online space.
At the table.
And if a place at that table is looking sparse? We’re going to create our own table ourselves.
Imagine all the magic and perspectives the world is missing out on because so many people believe that blogging is dead, writing is obsolete, and any form of typing is nonexistent unless it’s for accessibility’s sake.
That’s tragic.
I’m so happy and proud of myself for coming back to my love of writing (even if that means I need to pop onto TikTok here and there to add a bit of video variety to reach more people). And I hope you someday believe that of your own creations.
It’s taken years to really understand what success really means to me (and no, it’s not $80,000 months).
I actually started this exact newsletter as a draft for an email months and months ago, but it was fueled after seeing someone on YouTube post a video about how she makes $80,000 (give or take) per month as a blogger.
And… I felt nothing seeing that.
Just like I felt nothing when that man came up to me to name-drop and talk about all he owned? I felt nothing seeing someone break-down how to make tens of thousands of dollars as a blogger.
Yeah, money and being a writer that makes more than enough to cover living expenses is thee goal. And even seeing a video like that back in 2015 when I first learned about the possibility of creating an income from blogging would’ve been dreamy and thrilling for me.
(I soon learned that I apparently couldn’t just write whatever I wanted and expect anything financially stable from it. But I never truly gave myself the chance to experiment with that possibility, and glad I finally am.)
But now? When a goal like that is so displaced from the reality I’m experiencing, it just doesn’t thrill me as much as the actual goals and successful milestones I aim to celebrate along the journey.
Success to me is when I receive meaningful comments starting conversations with me about what I wrote.
When people actually buy me matcha from my link (and leave a letter of encouragement and support for my writing journey too).
I’m dead serious! The first time I got a notification that people were buying me matcha, it thrilled me SO much.
People were paying me their hard-earned money to write what I love! Wow.
Success is finding a balance between my joy-fueled writing and time to do things I enjoy like cooking, reading, coding, fiddling with my old viola (no pun intended), and digital painting.
It’s being able to replace your current income with work you love, and passive income as well.
It’s seeing the first few people subscribe to the newsletter you’re SO excited to write.
I could go on forever about the things I’ve learned about myself over the past six months, and what has been bringing me immense joy lately (and I will, I have a newsletter lined-up for just that)...
But I’ll end this newsletter here.
Find what makes you excited and lit-up to show up for your work.
You deserve to show up for the things you love, and we’re missing out on your creative genius that could be the one thing that clicks for someone who needs it.
Can’t wait to see your work! :)
Talk soon, and don’t forget to be your biggest advocate.
Warmly,
Cierra M.
Things I loved this week:
This roasted broccoli salad I fought my family to allow me to fix. (My mom can’t stand the smell of things like broccoli cooking in the house, so I compromised and fixed it in the airfryer outside.)
My brothy beans! Learned about it through Christine, who we both also got inspiration from Alison Roman. I’ve fixed more batches than I can count, and on the day I made the broccoli salad outside, I took advantage and fixed this jammy kimchi to go with the beans. Also, I mixed canned butter beans with the last of my blackeyed peas. Definitely fully going the butter bean route next time. And I always eat it with olive oil fried french bread and… Let me know if you’d like my version of the recipe down in the comments.
Finding a prayer plant for the first time since seeing a friend on IG with one years ago. (Stilll gotta go back and get her!)
My first delusional Target run (despite feeling gross and like I didn’t “fit the part”) where I acted like I casually made Target runs because I now have the consistent income to do so, and later seeing my Target order from that day ended in 8888! #LuckyAngelNumberVibez
Launching my newsletter this week, and the epic feedback when doing so! Thank you. :)
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